Sharie's Rave

Sharie's Rave.Sharie's Rave.

h thought it be time I start recording a few home truths about my past, be it as dark and mysterious as the forest of the north when shrouded in a thick fog. Only the animals that dwell there would know and understand the tracks and hideouts that resemble the thoughts and actions of time gone by.

At times not even I understand what brought me to a way of thinking and living that was then so normal, but now so foreign to me that I sometimes wonder if it was truly I that dwelled there and not some vague recollection of a dream that occasionally reoccurs to haunt my day and drench my nights with self doubt. I wonder too if it didn't contribute to the slow erosion of my faculties that even I doubt my sanity and proclaim that I am no longer of this world in a sense , that I infact have either grown or declined (depending on your point of view ) in such a way, that at times I can not understand the functions of man himself and am at times ashamed to call myself human, not because of my past but because my perception of our place here on this mortal coil and wonder why man in his so called developed civilized state has so removed himself from the reality of his spiritual existence and convinced himself of his own self importance that he has overlooked the truth on so many levels. Even those that claim they are of a spiritual persuasion are so drenched in their own salvation or self importance that they destroy the very thing they proclaim to honor and save.

Are we all mad, I ask, we all so believe in our own thinking to be fact and ourselves change our view as our experience changes us, yet we still claim our thinking to be correct, if it was correct all those years ago and our thinking has changed yet we claim we are correct today? When were we right, all those years ago or today if we change our thoughts today and think differently tomorrow? Is that correct? If there is a chance that any of these thoughts be correct then obviously the other times were incorrect. If that thinking was wrong then how can one be sure our thinking was ever or ever will be correct?

One must ponder one's own thoughts and accept we may never really have a thought that hits near to the truth, in fact all thought is a point of view relying on experience and circumstance and others to mould it, we are entitled to our own view, then aren't others without scrutiny or judgment as we expect our own thoughts, views, actions and lifestyles to be accepted, so why do we judge and WHY OH WHY do we change our point of view? Is it experience, persuasion or just a self delusion that we infact know more from the experience?

That is all very well, I might say. But has the experience dulled our vision, made us harder , colder and bitter to a point that our own self righteous attitude and our own self importance has clouded our own clear thinking. After all, isn't it the soft, naive and gullible that are classed as fools and those that love and are kind and giving classed as easy targets and stupid?

So is it wise to be cold, hard and calculating or is it just our own self admiration and self perseverance that changes mankind into war mongers, dictators and hypocrites? Or does the experience actually change us and free us from our prior cultural brainwashing that has been passed down to us like the sins of our fathers? Are we also moulded by our parents beliefs as we are convinced of their perfection until we start to dought even their thinking and they fall from grace in our eyes, or is it natural to shun the formalities and beliefs of our custodians as a bird would shun the parent in choice of flight, to soar amongst clouds so desired for so long and to peck amounts the many fields of grain until we no longer think our parents experience and wisdom have any importance in who we are and we reject any form of advice or persuasion so that we may be proud of what our thinking is today, unaware that tomorrow we will form a totally different set of views that may resemble the thoughts that have been handed down by generations, or be so far removed from the general thoughts of the public that we are classed as mad and scoffed at by even the most respected scholars of the day.

Should we believe or disbelieve ourselves, shall we examine our own sanity or believe in nil? Should we proclaim our thoughts and beliefs till the death or accept no thought is the truth and live recklessly in our own self indulgence at the expense of any one that differs? Which is the right decision? Is there a right decision? The more I learn the less, I believe, I know.

Thoughts, droughts and dissecting of my own point of view have brought me to write about some days gone by in hope that some one may read these pages, find either some idle entertainment or discover a new truth that may be the answer to some long unanswered inner cry that pervades their inner being, and hence set them on a journey to find a truth that aids in their development to being a better human weather that be just at home with others, just inside themselves or instill a hunger to help change things that for now they accept as normal and out of their control and so therefore unchangeable. For I believe that every ripple in the pond has an effect so subtle that it will oxygenate the water and hence make it more inhabitable for life to come.

Are not we responsible for all things to manifest? Our very thought mouds an energy, cause and effect our very thought can create an action, our very action create a change, the very change create a different reality, our very reality create a different thought and so on and so on ---- ad infinitum.